"God is Sovereign and can alter circumstances as pleases His purpose. God uses our faithful adherence to godly precepts to bring about His will. In essence this is co-creating with God. Our most usable attributes for accomplishing the will of God in our life are: Self-denial, selflessness, patience, meekness, humility, temperance, holiness, kindness and godliness, but of course other attributes such as boldness, courage, strength, honor, integrity, forthrightness come into play when co-creating with God.
Here's the rub. Self-denial, selflessness, patience, meekness, humility, temperance, holiness, kindness and godliness are godly attributes received by God through wisdom and can always be used for any purpose to accomplish the will of God. Whereas, boldness, courage, strength, honor, integrity, forthrightness are support temperaments that accentuate, accelerate or enhance the godly attributes given to us by God. In other words these temperaments are the delivery system by which we deliver/alter destinies that are God ordained.
God uses mankind in his frail and somewhat unsuitable condition to accomplish God''s perfect will with accuracy, timeliness and measurable substance.
To draw nigh to God creates the benefit of God weaving our temperaments with His attributes to bring about a desired result. These results cannot be reached while on our own using our temperaments without the aid of the indwelling Holy Spirit. That doesn't mean that people who have not been born again cannot do good things, because they can. What they can't do is to bring about a result that requires the hand of God to be accomplished because they are not co-creating with God, they are creating on their own. The God synergy is not there.
I think it time for you to stabilize your beliefs. The days of wandering to and fro and believing this and that should be set behind you. You cannot do tomorrow's tasks with yesterdays knowledge/wisdom. Tomorrow's tasks take whatever you receive from God today as the kindling to bring to pass the will of God. To draw nigh to God requires an everyday experience with God. Of course if you are willing to go behind the veil with God everyday, the information you will be working with will be fresh and useful.
Note: Most Christians hardly know God at all, much less desire the opportunity or the responsibility of co-creating with God. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't want to take on added responsibilities. Just like in any trade their are all kinds of workers, managers, supervisors, etc. Just decide to give to God what portion of yourself you are able to part with and God will do the rest.
2nd note: Sometimes people get their back up when discussing levels of commitment to God. They have been taught that only the priest, rabbi, pastor, apostle, minister are endowed with these special privileges. Of course there is no truth in it. You are just as qualified to be God's person for the day as anyone.