"Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation; and uphold me with Thy free spirit." Psalm 51:12
When I forget all that God has done for me and all that God is doing for me, I pray this prayer. There is nothing like the feeling of the free spirit of God running through my veins. I love the feeling of knowing I am in the beloved. I love the feeling of knowing I am forgiven and God sees me as His child. I love knowing that all is well because my God is in charge. I love knowing that when God looks at me He is pleased. Of course not because of what great things I've done, but because of the work that Christ did in me and for me.
But, sometimes I wake up disappointed, worried or anxious, unsure, full of questions and even some doubt lingering like the mountain mist. When I am wise I shake it off with a prayer. I pull myself up and remember what God has taught me and who I am. When I am not wise I continue in this state, sometimes for hours until I am reminded of how totally unimportant so many things are that I have wasted my time, energy and money on.
All that said, I always keep a Bible handy. Just the flip of a page and I am revived. I am brought back into remembrance of the truth and I am reminded of what is real. Of course I sometimes just go outside or look up and say, "Father forgive me for being so petty, I am sorry for not trusting you." Either way I need reminded just like David needed reminded because we are in the flesh. My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. Yes I do turn to God to lift me up. Yes I do rely on the scriptures to help remind me of what I forget.
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